Wednesday, 29 June 2011

Thinking out loud (or as my close friends say... wittering on...)

Its funny how life changes, seasons change, our wants hopes and desires change... you can make the best plan in life and you never know what is going to change those plans you so carefully thought through. Its that time of year when we reach the summer solstice and the middle of the year, the days are at their longest and the possibilities that lie ahead of six weeks off with my children are just around the corner...On the 25th June, my birthday, exactly six months between one Christmas and the next, its a time for celebration, a time for family and also a time of heartache. Being adopted my birthday opens up a whole range of emotions filled with 'rejection issues' and the need to be part of something. I find this year to be no exception, in fact all the more realistic in their meaning.
As I feel I am on the edge of something big about to change in my life, is it my career, my family or my home, who knows, but the change is evident, I feel it running through me and there are days I feel I can touch it, but can I see it, do I know what the changes are... No, to be honest that's almost part of the excitement.
I am spending many hours in my garden, its looking beautiful and welcoming, so much a place for my family as it becomes the 'room' in the home we are all spending our time in. I sit watching my children play and I think about my house, my life, my career and most of all my family. I plan in my head the next year and realise that who am I to make these plans, life will just happen.
I have choices in my career, I am now a qualified Teachers Assistant, registered to continue to the next level, a commitment to another year of learning, sadly there are no jobs, only I could pick a career that the new government cut my role out of the agenda. Dare I move from hobby seamstress to a career and all that involves... so much to think about and so many choices and decisions to make.
But with the best made plans life can still take you its own way. So in celebration of my birth (all those years ago) I spent it with my most favourite people in a favourite spot. A blustery walk on a wild and empty beach, a pocket full of pebbles and shells from my children, a poke around an art shop, a delicious cup of hot chocolate in a seaside cafe with big fluffy dotty red blankets supplied to keep you warm if you ventured outside to brave the chill in the air, drinks with new friends and old, ending the day cuddled up outside in front of a roaring fire with yummy food and champagne. Yes indeed a special day, in the arms of a man that loves me, my children laughing as the new puppy pokes her little inquisitive nose into everything she shouldn't and a sky full of stars... Sometime, life deals you a bad card, one that hurts and leaves you paddling like mad to keep your head above water and sometimes, just occasionally, you can see how good that can be...
Yes a good day indeed for my family, and just about topped off to perfection with the most beautiful gift of my very own silver thimble... precious and so thoughtful a gift for me indeed.

Your still reading, I thank you, may the start of summer bring you love and laughter...

11 comments:

Sal said...

Hello Suzie!
Glad to hear that you've had success with qualifying as a teaching assistant! Hopefully, a job will come your way one day but until then, keep enjoying your crafting!! Hope you are all well and loving the summer! Take care ;-)x

periwinkle said...

I know exactly what you mean about the TA , I finished my qualification on Monday and had my last day at school today. It's so scary isn't it. I can't afford to do a level 3 unless I am lucky enough to find a job which would allow me to train whilst in employment but like you say ' finding the employment is the hardest thing' . There was a job going at my school for a level 3 and there were over 50 applicants , I applied seeing as how I'm already there but didn't even get shortlisted. We will just have to keep trying and keep everything crossed. Belated birthday wishes and keep your chin up xx

Debby said...

Happy belated birthday. Soundslike it was nice......hmmm a man that loves you.....someone new???? You sound slike you are in a good place.
I hope a job shows up for you. Congratulations on your qualifying.
(((((HUGS))))

Moogsmum said...

Happy Birthday Suzie! Whatever the next year brings I hope has plenty of love, laughter and happy times,

xx

lazylol said...

Suzie, what a beautiful post..glad you enjoyed your birthday...best wishes x

French Knots said...

Happy Birthday, sounds like a wonderful day. And what's this about love, sounds exciting!xx

Pene said...

Belated happy birthday, may the next year bring you everything you desire ( but if that includes a lottery win remember your friends hehe).
I do seem to be quite lucky at the moment although my 6 euromillion lottery tickets last night got me nothing!! not a single number!! maybe my luck is running out and it's your turn now?
Take care and enjoy the summer hols Big Hugs
Pene x

Twiggy said...

What a lovely post Suzie, I'm so pleased you had the lovely birthday you deserved.
Twiggy x

lily said...

Hi Suzie,

There's nothing like a little romance and days at the beach to put a spring in your step.......Happy belated Birthday.

lily x

Em said...

happy belated birthday. like takes you in some odd directions at first, then you realise they were the right ones. lovely rosy. xxx

Tracy said...

Hi, Suzie and belated HAPPY BIRTHDAY wishes! BIG CONGRATS on your teaching assistant qualification--hooray! I hope you'll find that perfect-fit job before long, perhaps news new terms start in the autumn. Keeping fingers & toes crossed for you. ;o) I see I've missed a lot here lately... also congrats on a new family member... Your Rosy is sooo sweet--she is the cutest doggie ever! Wow, a puppy...that's a lot to take on... LOL! I've been posting a bit less myself recently, mostly photo posts, as I will soon be launching a new creative blog--hope to "announce" it next week, as I will be closing Pink Purl before summer's end. Hope you might stop by my new place soon. Be taking good care... Happy Summer Days ((HUGS))