Thinking out loud (or as my close friends say... wittering on...)

Its funny how life changes, seasons change, our wants hopes and desires change... you can make the best plan in life and you never know what is going to change those plans you so carefully thought through. Its that time of year when we reach the summer solstice and the middle of the year, the days are at their longest and the possibilities that lie ahead of six weeks off with my children are just around the corner...On the 25th June, my birthday, exactly six months between one Christmas and the next, its a time for celebration, a time for family and also a time of heartache. Being adopted my birthday opens up a whole range of emotions filled with 'rejection issues' and the need to be part of something. I find this year to be no exception, in fact all the more realistic in their meaning.

As I feel I am on the edge of something big about to change in my life, is it my career, my family or my home, who knows, but the change is evident, I feel it running through me and there are days I feel I can touch it, but can I see it, do I know what the changes are... No, to be honest that's almost part of the excitement.
I am spending many hours in my garden, its looking beautiful and welcoming, so much a place for my family as it becomes the 'room' in the home we are all spending our time in. I sit watching my children play and I think about my house, my life, my career and most of all my family. I plan in my head the next year and realise that who am I to make these plans, life will just happen.

I have choices in my career, I am now a qualified Teachers Assistant, registered to continue to the next level, a commitment to another year of learning, sadly there are no jobs, only I could pick a career that the new government cut my role out of the agenda. Dare I move from hobby seamstress to a career and all that involves... so much to think about and so many choices and decisions to make.
But with the best made plans life can still take you its own way. So in celebration of my birth (all those years ago) I spent it with my most favourite people in a favourite spot. A blustery walk on a wild and empty beach, a pocket full of pebbles and shells from my children, a poke around an art shop, a delicious cup of hot chocolate in a seaside cafe with big fluffy dotty red blankets supplied to keep you warm if you ventured outside to brave the chill in the air, drinks with new friends and old, ending the day cuddled up outside in front of a roaring fire with yummy food and champagne. Yes indeed a special day, in the arms of a man that loves me, my children laughing as the new puppy pokes her little inquisitive nose into everything she shouldn't and a sky full of stars... Sometime, life deals you a bad card, one that hurts and leaves you paddling like mad to keep your head above water and sometimes, just occasionally, you can see how good that can be...
Yes a good day indeed for my family, and just about topped off to perfection with the most beautiful gift of my very own silver thimble... precious and so thoughtful a gift for me indeed.

Your still reading, I thank you, may the start of summer bring you love and laughter...